An Art Major? Really? WTF is that?


Yes, I am a Fine Arts major, and it is a real major. I know, shocking right? An art major. What the hell do they even do? We must just color all day and draw smiley faces. Maybe we're just trying to be angsty and rebel. Why would my parents ever allow me to pursue a career in art? All those loans... for art. Ridiculous, I know.

Is art even relevant? I mean, it doesn't really make an impact on our lives at all...

I guess we should stop wearing jewelry.

Stop watching movies. Really just turn your TV off and never turn it back on.

You should probably give back your furniture or any decorations in your home too.

Don't ever play a video game. Actually don't ever play a game at all. Cause I'm sure some creative person helped design that.

Don't buy books, paintings, magazines, comic books, or really anything you look at or read.

Stop wearing all those clothes you have, whether it's from a thrift store or some high-end shop. Someone had to design those.

Don't buy paintings or prints.

Definitely don't buy photos. Don't have family photos taken, newborn photos, or any of those senior pictures to remember your kid in high school. Just stop using cameras all together. Stop looking at imagery is really what I mean.

Never look at advertisements, billboards. Probably just don't go online or into a store, or really anywhere at all.

Speakers? You should probably rip those out. And get rid of those headphones. Who really needs to listen to music?

Don't buy any glass. Some glass artist probably helped with that.

You know that yummy food at restaurants? I bet a culinary artist helped with that. C'mon, just spit it out.

Why do people even try and make this world more beautiful? Colors, textures, smells. Who needs them?

And don't ever go to an art museum, gallery, exhibition. Probably don't leave the country either. They've been doing that art stuff even longer than us. I wouldn't trust it.

And those damn adult coloring books. What are you trying to do, meditate, or act like a five year old again? Just get rid of them.

Who cares about those art and music classes in school? I mean really, why do we need art classes? That's not really gonna help our future generations. I guess we've already started getting rid of them. Standardized tests are the way to go. All kids should just be good at math. They don't need to express themselves anyways.

I really only pursued art cause I wasn't smart enough for anything else and didn't want the work other majors had...obviously.

Just plug your nose, close your eyes, and cover your ears. Just close off your senses all together. That's pretty much a life without the arts.

I guess I'll go back to my fake major now. Time to go color.