My Quarter-Life Crisis


I'm turning 22 on Friday the 13th and I feel like I may be having a quarter-life crisis. I know you are technically an adult at 18, but you're still really a kid at that point, and I'm starting to feel like I actually have to accept adulthood. I feel like I grew up faster than a lot of people I know, but I'd still like to be Peter Pan and pretend I'm a kid forever. You've passed the big 21 where you're assumed to just be drunk for a full year and now you're just 22. 22 kinda feels like the ugly step-sister of 21.

People keep asking me, what do you want to do after school? You're graduating pretty soon. And to be honest, I should probably have a better idea than I do. But what I really want to say to them is I HAVE NO. IDEA. Thanks for asking. I'd like to get a job of some sort, hopefully in the arts? Is that a good answer? Cause that's the really all I got right now. No matter what you chose as your career path, IT'S SCARY. If you went to school or not, IT'S SCARY. You may have it all figured out, but I think it's still a little scary. It's almost like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz when she figures out she's not in Kansas anymore and is just trying to figure out what is happening.

If you decided to go to college, you've basically been in school your whole life at this point. You have to figure out what you want to do next...while in a lot of cases your facing this scary black hole called student loan debt. I'm pretty sure I've been having nightmares about that monster. You're thinking about where you want to live, what will your career be, and how you're gonna do it. Do you want to move somewhere knew? Do you need to go home? Are you getting out of school with your dream job or the one you're just keeping to have income?

Either way, I just want to say.. IT'S OKAY. This is basically a pep talk to myself as well as to anyone else who might actually read this and feel the same way. Why the hell are there so many unwritten guidelines of what were supposed to be doing at certain ages? It's really okay not to know. It's okay to not have it all figured out, and even the people that seem like they do, probably don't.

Stop comparing yourself to other people. Just because something works for them doesn't mean it works for you. Just because there at a certain point doesn't mean you need to be there too. Just because you're on a different path doesn't mean it's a lesser one. So what you're working at the supermarket? So what you're living at home? You don't have to stay there forever. Work towards where you want to be. And hey, if that's where you want to be, THAT'S OKAY TOO. But don't feel lesser because everything's not perfectly in place yet. To be honest, IT NEVER WILL BE. Embrace your fear, and push it towards whatever you want to do. And if you don't know what you want to do, like me, that's okay. Be open to the world and explore your possibilities.

When your a kid, you always see the world with big curious eyes. Everything's new and exciting. We get to adulthood and are expected to figure life out. But life can't be figured out. It's like putting together a puzzle and then figuring out you lost that one last piece. It can't be solved. But the truth is, I'd rather live with those child-like eyes anyways. It's more exciting that way.